Text: Grisha of the Prophets
Highly sensitive people, or high sensitive people, are especially susceptible to external stimulation, the emotions of others and, in general, details of the world around them. We tell you who they are and how to understand if you are one of them.
Who are Highly Sensitive People?
Highly sensitive people (we will call them highly sensitive people), or HSP, or HSP - these are people who react more intensely than others to the world around us. Such people process both positive and negative information more carefully, so they can be overwhelmed and overwhelmed by external stimuli - when there are too many or they are too intense. Such people pay a lot of attention to all sensations: tastes, touches, sounds and smells. They are especially sensitive to emotions, their own and others. The press calls them the new introverts: a lot has been written about highly sensitive people lately, although the phenomenon was defined back in the mid-90s.
Who introduced this concept?
Psychologist Elaine N. Aron was the first to identify highly sensitive people.
in his book "The Highly Sensitive Person", which was published in 1996. Aron lived in San Francisco and began studying HSP in 1991 with her husband Arthur. Aron describes HSPs as those who have “increased sensitivity to stimulation” and who are “more aware of details and nuances and process information in a deeper, more reflective way than others.” Aron believed that Carl Jung, Emily Dickinson and Rainer Maria Rilke were highly sensitive people and that they were generally “poets, writers, teachers, doctors, scientists and philosophers.” It is believed that 20% of the world's population are highly sensitive people.
Why are they suddenly being talked about?
It’s not that the term and Aron’s book lay in oblivion, no - other researchers wrote about HSPs, and scientific articles were published about them, but it was in recent years The media paid special attention to them. The Huffington Post published a text about how highly sensitive people interact with the world differently, The Wall Street Journal wrote about the phenomenon, even Scientific American remembered Aron and her ideas. In the scientific world, interest in them is also increasing: for example, the first conference dedicated to high sensitivity was held in Brussels. About the phenomenon of HSP comes out documentary called “Sensitive”, in which, for example, singer Alanis Morissette, who considers herself a highly sensitive person, starred.
Why single out highly sensitive people when introverts already exist?
Because this is a psychological - and neurobiological - category of people according to completely different indicators. Aron developed a 27-item sensitivity scale to identify HSPs; and as with introverts, it's not just a binary system, you're not just either a highly sensitive person or you're not, there's a gradation here. While introverts are primarily defined by their relationships with other people, highly sensitive people are generally defined by their relationship with the world. However, like introverts, HSPs may enjoy solitude to give their brain a break from stimulation. For example, if you often cry at the movies, or are irritated by strong smells, or are imbued with other people's emotions at the most unexpected moments. And this is important to study: because if you understand that you are a highly sensitive person, you can better arrange your life, for example, try to work in quiet and calm places.
Do HSPs really exist?
Yes, sure. They are identified by many psychologists and neuroscientists. Hundreds of studies have been devoted to high sensitivity, from brain scans to genetic tests. Studies of the brains of HSPs show that their brain processes differ from those of other people: HSPs are more likely to experience empathy, be more attentive to their surroundings, and understand other people better. The catch is that, of course, there is a trap here, as with introverts: after the word and idea became popular, many people began to call themselves highly sensitive people, even those who are not technically one of them. Everyone wants to consider themselves special, so we want to believe that we understand the world around us more deeply and subtly than others.
Any word can offend him, a minor failure can make him cry, and a small quarrel can lead to serious moral injury. What is a very sensitive person called? What do you call a vulnerable person and what is behind these experiences? Why is the state of mind of some people so precarious?
An individual with a subtle mental organization, sensitive to everything that happens in life, is called - sentimental person. This characteristic is most often referred to as a character trait. Moreover, both congenital and acquired.
What is a vulnerable person called - who are these people?
It is believed that sentimental people are, first of all, creative individuals. Representatives of art professions: artists, writers, stylists, fashion designers. It is these people who are able to notice little things and attach great importance to them.
Sentimentality is directly and most obviously observed among female representatives.
A vulnerable person can be identified from the very early years. It is extremely rare that this character trait changes during life; most likely, only its concealment is possible.
By the way, guys like to wear “anti-sentimentality” masks. However, very often behind the stone face there can be a completely soft, trembling personality.
Why is a sentimental person - reasons for deep sensitivity
As was written earlier, sentimentality is a trait that is determined in a person from birth. However, there are cases when the characteristic comes over the years. This may be due to several factors:
- A serious shock, an event affecting loved ones or one’s own personality;
- Midlife crisis, rethinking life, investments, years lived;
- Hormonal imbalances, pregnancy, puberty.
By the way, a shaky, sensitive state of mind is not something shameful or bad. As a rule, vulnerable people are more “humane”, attentive and sensitive to what is happening around them.
What if any unfamiliar situation makes you very nervous? What if a half-hour buffet leads to an unbearable desire for privacy, as a “social hangover” inevitably sets in? Perhaps you are an orchid person.
A little theory: The phenomenon of hypersensitivity was first described by Elaine Aaron, an American psychotherapist. Before her, all orchid people were mistakenly classified as either introverts, or simply nervous or even neurotic people. Hypersensitivity has nothing to do with diseases and abnormalities! Of course, introversion occurs in most orchid people, but there are also extroverts among them.
I will make a reservation that this is not a scientific work and I did not conduct research. What is written here is the result of observations of myself and others like me, and I was inspired by Elaine Aron’s book “The Highly Sensitive Nature.”
Who are the orchid people?
You can safely count yourself among these 25% of subtle natures if you have most of the following signs:
1. High susceptibility to external stimuli and strong excitability of the nervous system
2. Caution and even slowness in making decisions
3. Tendency to deeply analyze one’s actions and events occurring around them
4. Increased attention to subtle details and subtle trends
5. High sensitivity to the emotions of other people (high empathy, pity for the weaker), as well as avoidance of conflicts
6. Loss of concentration and confusion in situations of evaluation and observation by other people
7. Developed intuition, a tendency to foresight
8. Right-hemisphere thinking, good creative abilities
9. Introversion (about 70% of orchid people are introverts), avoidance of publicity and wide circles of communication
10. Tendency to constant learning, desire for self-improvement
11. Increased vulnerability and tendency to more pronounced physical discomfort, that is, they suffer more from pain and tolerate hunger worse
12. Higher susceptibility to drug treatment, caffeine
Now let’s look in more detail at the main features of orchid people, and how they manifest themselves at work and in communication with colleagues.
1. High susceptibility to external stimuli and strong excitability of the nervous system
Details:
This is perhaps the most striking and defining feature of the orchid people. If we take beads as a metaphorical image, then this feature is a thread, and that’s all
the rest are beads that could not form beads without a thread.
The reaction of highly sensitive people to any, even minor, stimulus is stronger than that of most people. The reaction to unexpected and unfamiliar stimuli is especially strong. For example, the unexpected sound of breaking glass or someone's shout will make you flinch, gasp and your heart pound. Strong irritants completely stun you and cause a reaction of stupor, a desire to retire as soon as possible. Therefore, orchid people, due to their increased emotionality, try to avoid:
Crowded traffic during rush hour
Rallies with large crowds of people
Buffets and noisy parties
Long noisy queues
Traffic jams (by the way, orchid people know better than others how to avoid traffic jams;)
Cause:
The nervous system of orchid people is tuned to be more receptive to minor stimuli. This in turn implies more detailed processing of information entering the brain. As a result, the nervous system is overloaded more than most people. Hence, fatigue sets in faster, and with strong irritants, the fatigue is completely deafening.
Manifestation in the business environment:
Orchid people feel extremely uncomfortable at large and noisy meetings. In order not to aggravate your internal tension and not force
their heart beats even faster, they prefer to remain silent. They definitely don't like open-space offices.
Of course, I don’t like working on weekends, but if I have to go out, a bonus is the opportunity to sit in an empty office with dim lights! My work is in full swing in such an environment!
2. Caution and slowness in decision making
Details:
Orchid people prefer to think through all the possible consequences of any action, which takes a lot of time. But their decisions are often successful,
after all, they were based on collecting a large number of facts and considering all possible options.
Cause:
Your brain always strives for careful and deep processing of information, and this takes much more time.
Manifestation in the business environment:
Such people work according to the principle “measure twice, cut once.” Work in which you need to make quick decisions causes the strongest
stress.
3. Tendency to constantly analyze one’s actions and events occurring around them
Details:
Orchid people are prone to long thoughts and soul-searching. Others may perceive this as having their head in the clouds and counting crows ;).
Constant internal dialogue can lead to absent-mindedness and some clumsiness in actions. But it is precisely thanks to this inner work
Orchid people are more often endowed with worldly wisdom, they are more often reasonable and prudent in their actions, and more often become truly mature people.
Cause:
The same tendency to constantly process incoming information.
Manifestation in the business environment:
When discussing some new information, an oversensitive employee may seem to have trouble understanding what is happening. But thanks to his penchant for analysis, he subsequently comes to an even deeper understanding of details and nuances than others.
I noticed the following about myself: when I learn something new in large quantities, my head becomes confused and chaos. But I already know that the brain semi-consciously processes what it has learned. And the next day or week (depending on the complexity of the task or information) comes SUCH clarity and understanding that I never dreamed of at first! The expression “The morning is wiser than the evening” is definitely about orchid people!
4. Increased attention to subtle details and trends
Details:
From a highly sensitive nature, you are more likely to hear the phrase “Something is wrong here...” It is the orchid people who will be the first to pay attention to subtle changes in the usual course of things. Whether this will be a false alarm or the beginning of an impending disaster is already a matter of time. But in any case, it would be wise for other people to listen to them. Perhaps, when the tsunami approached in Thailand, the orchid people were the first to pay attention to the animals running away from the shore, and certainly did not rush to collect shells on the exposed shore before the arrival of a big wave...
Cause:
High sensitivity to minor stimuli is combined with increased attention to detail. The nervous system of orchid people, figuratively speaking, wears glasses with magnifying glasses: they help to see details better, but the incoming light from the lenses burns more strongly. Nature has given us such lenses so that we can see the approaching danger in advance and warn our fellow tribesmen. A separate post on my website is dedicated to the benefits of orchid people for the rest of the community.
Manifestation in the business environment:
You are the one who knows how to warn your boss or your colleagues about a problem before it gets worse. You are the one who will be the first to notice the subtle
changes in the market and warn others about it. You may have a reputation for exaggerating danger all the time. But rather in you
appreciate this insight.
Majority characteristic features I tried to show orchid people their advantages and strengths. Believe me, I was not afraid to overdo it, since such people are rarely prone to inflated self-esteem, and such praises addressed to them will not lead to narcissism.
- Psychology: personality and business
Key words:
1 -1
Highly sensitive people, or “new introverts,” are those who react more sharply than others to noise or fuss, quickly get tired of society and love solitude. These people have a keen sense of the world and pay attention to the smallest details, which is why they often make excellent poets, artists and writers. However, it is difficult for them to live among others: too often they have to make excuses for their fatigue and unsociability, criticism hurts too much, too much effort is spent on empathy, as well as on meeting the standards accepted in society.
Ilse Sand, Danish writer and certified psychotherapist, on own experience Having experienced all the hardships and joys of life for highly sensitive people, she tells how new introverts can finally stop trying to rebuild themselves and start living for their own pleasure in harmony with themselves and their feelings.
All rights reserved. The work is intended exclusively for private use. No part of the electronic copy of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any means, including posting on the Internet or corporate networks, for public or collective use without the written permission of the copyright owner. For violation of copyright, the law provides for payment of compensation to the copyright holder in the amount of up to 5 million rubles (Article 49 of the Code of Administrative Offenses), as well as criminal liability in the form of imprisonment for up to 6 years (Article 146 of the Criminal Code of the Russian Federation).
Preface to the second edition
I am pleased to present you the second edition of the book “Close to the Heart”. To date, the fourth printing of the first edition has ended in stores - in other words, more than 5,000 copies have already been sold. The book has also been translated into Swedish, and the test included in it is used by psychologists throughout Scandinavia.
I supplemented the second edition with a chapter dedicated to scientific research this issue. In addition, I removed discussions about anger, since they are fully reproduced in the book “New Paths in the Labyrinth of Feelings,” and also included in the new edition a number of reflections on other relevant topics.
Preface
This book is intended for people with hypersensitivity, too vulnerable psychologically. But it was also written for people with an ordinary level of sensitivity, since life often brings them together with extremely impressionable individuals.
Throughout my life, I managed to be a priest and a psychotherapist, thanks to which I met many people. When talking with especially sensitive ones, I understood every time that I would help such people real help, just telling them about this feature of their nature.
For this reason, in my book I decided to pay special attention to the stories of those patients and clients who help us understand what it means to be so vulnerable in life. modern world. All the patients I quote in this work are hypersensitive, but in some examples we can recognize ourselves.
More than once I have seen living evidence of how a person still managed to get along with his own sensitivity, gain courage and become himself, and therefore I sincerely hope that this book will help many other people with this.
In Chapter 1, I describe the personality traits of sensitive people. No two people are the same, and hypersensitive people are no exception. Perhaps in some of the examples I described you will recognize yourself, but some others, on the contrary, will not be easy to understand. However, I hope that these tips will be useful to you, even if only some of the traits I describe seem familiar.
The chapters can be read separately, independently of each other, so if you find some of them too easy or, conversely, overloaded with theoretical calculations, I recommend just skimming through them without reading.
At the end of the book there is a test recently developed by Danish scientists, thanks to which you can determine the level of your own sensitivity. In addition, in this book you will find a list of activities that bring joy and calm to sensitive people. This list contains various types activities that are most suitable both for those who have enough strength and for those who are looking for peace.
Introduction
Sensitivity, or, as psychologists call it, sensitivity, is a quality that can be considered both a punishment and a gift of fate. Personally, for many years I considered it a hindrance, believing that in some situations it limited my actions. And I considered myself an introvert until I read about the character traits of people with hypersensitivity.
During lectures at the university, I always took a break and told the students that I needed to be alone for a while. People around me always treated such requests with understanding. In addition, among the listeners there were often people who later told me that sometimes they also felt the need to be alone. As a rule, they also thanked me for daring to admit this fact out loud.
Considering this feature of mine to be a hindrance, I will nevertheless be immodest and say that it is compensated by many other qualities. I have a well-developed imagination - for example, I always very quickly come up with and develop topics for a lecture course, thanks to which I have found excellent speakers and lecturers over the years.
Many hypersensitive individuals have low self-esteem. It seems to us that completely different behavioral types are valued in the world around us. Some sensitive people confessed to me that all their lives they went out of their way to keep up with others and meet other people's expectations. And only after retiring did they get the opportunity to live calmly and “slowly”. Surely, at times you also want to learn to live without worries, to “harden” a little and experience the same feelings that most people around you experience. Loving yourself, so vulnerable and sensitive, is very difficult - especially when life requires completely opposite qualities from you. Perhaps you have already tried to re-educate yourself to please other people's demands - and therefore now you need to learn again to love the real you, the way you really are. The first step in this direction is to learn to evaluate not the quantity of your actions, but their quality. You may have time to do much less than others, but everything you do is most likely done very well. In other words, you are clearly not a champion in the long jump, but in the high jump, few can compete with you.
Comparing myself over the years with those around me, I constantly came to the conclusion that I was not measuring up. This upset me terribly, and so I tried to avoid such thoughts, trying to focus on my positive qualities.
Perhaps you are also tormented by the realization that you don’t know how to do much. But as soon as you start thinking about it, those around you immediately notice the flaw you discovered. You may not be as productive as others, but as soon as you notice this, your colleagues also do not remain indifferent: “What, are you going home? Already?" And after that, you completely forget that in the relatively short time spent at work you managed to do so many things that an ordinary person could not do in a day.
I sincerely hope that this book will help sensitive individuals and simply vulnerable people to pay attention to the positive qualities that they possess.
Increased sensitivity most often enriches the personality... This advantage can turn into a huge disadvantage only in the most difficult and unusual situations, when self-control collapses under the influence of out-of-control feelings.
It would be a grave mistake to consider sensitivity as a painful component of personality. If this were true, then approximately one fourth of the entire world population could be called pathologically ill.
C. G. Jung, 1955
Chapter 1
Hypersensitivity - what is it?
Two different subspecies
Approximately every fifth individual is characterized by increased psychological vulnerability, and this applies not only to humans. Higher vertebrates can also be divided into two groups - sensitive and more coarse. The latter are determined and more often willing to take risks.
We humans are divided not only by gender, but also by belonging to one of two psychological types. And the difference between these types is often greater than between the sexes.
Hypersensitivity is a phenomenon noticed by psychologists quite a long time ago, but previously it was called something else, for example, introversion. According to the American psychologist Elaine Aron, who first described the characteristics of a hypersensitive personality, she herself believed for some time that introversion and hypersensitivity were the same thing, until she established that 30% of hypersensitive people are extroverts.
“Highly sensitive individuals are called uptight, anxious or shy. These qualities can really manifest themselves if such people find themselves in an unusual environment, without finding support and help from others. However, it should be noted that, despite the difficulties that we experience in unusual conditions, in a familiar and peaceful environment we are happier than everyone else.
It is scientifically proven that we have a harder time withstanding unfamiliar surroundings and are happier in a calm atmosphere: according to research, children whose reaction to difficulties was strongly negative (that is, hypersensitive children) were more likely to get sick and make mistakes when they found themselves in a hostile environment. However, in the usual peaceful environment, the same children got sick less often than others.”
Observation and thoughtfulness
The nervous system of hypersensitive individuals is distinguished by special sensitivity. We notice many nuances and analyze them deeper than everyone else. We have a rich imagination and vivid imagination, thanks to which even the most insignificant events of the surrounding reality encourage us to build hypotheses and draw conclusions. Thus, our inner " hard drive» becomes full faster, and we experience overstimulation.
From an overabundance of impressions, I personally get the feeling that more information simply won’t fit into my head. When I communicate with unfamiliar people, a similar feeling can arise after about half an hour or an hour. I am quite capable of pulling myself together and maintaining a conversation by listening to the other person and pretending that everything is as it should be. However, it takes me a lot of energy to do this, and afterwards I feel completely overwhelmed.
There is nothing wrong with being overstimulated, but if you are hypersensitive, then in such a situation you will feel an overabundance of information earlier than ordinary people, which will make you want to withdraw and withdraw into yourself.
Perhaps you will recognize yourself in the description below. Eric (48 years old) says that when he is overexcited, he tries to hide and be alone with himself for a while, but secretly, because he is afraid that others will consider him arrogant, uncommunicative or withdrawn:
During big family occasions, such as birthdays, I often lock myself in the toilet, look in the mirror and spend a long time washing my hands, thoroughly soaping them. But at this moment someone inevitably pulls the handle of the door to the toilet, and I have to leave my quiet and peaceful refuge. One day I decided to hide behind a newspaper - I sat down in the corner, unfolded the newspaper, brought it closer to my face and closed my eyes, enjoying the peace. But my uncle, a famous joker, quietly crept up to me, snatched the newspaper from my hands and loudly announced: “Aha-ah! So our recluse got caught!” Everyone laughed, and I was ready to fall through the ground.
Eric, 48 years old
As a hypersensitive person, you are quickly tired not only of negative impressions - even if you find yourself at a fun holiday, you are certain moment as if you are oversaturated, and in the midst of the celebration you feel a strong desire to withdraw into yourself. At such moments, this lack greatly depresses us, because in most cases we want to be as “hardy” as everyone else. Leaving the holiday before everyone else, we, firstly, feel awkward in front of the hosts, who beg us to stay. Secondly, we ourselves are sorry to leave the holiday and we are afraid of appearing boring or ignorant to the other guests.
The reason for increased excitability lies in our overly sensitive nervous system, but thanks to it we are also able to experience genuine joy.
For example, those pleasant and calm experiences that arise when we listen to music or birdsong, look at pictures, inhale aromas, taste something delicious or admire a majestic landscape, awaken in us a feeling akin to inner jubilation. We are able to fully appreciate the beautiful, and this gives us incomparable pleasure.
Sensitivity to sensations
If you're hypersensitive, you may have a hard time distracting yourself from strange sounds, smells, or visual stimuli. At times, sensations imposed from the outside drive you crazy. Sounds that others barely notice seem like terrible noise to you, making it difficult to concentrate.
For example, on New Year's Eve, the sky, colored with fireworks, probably brings you complete delight, which cannot be said about the explosions of firecrackers. It seems that these sounds penetrate every cell, play on the nerves, so under New Year and after it you are not yourself.
When I give lectures or therapy sessions to highly sensitive individuals, I ask listeners to share their best and worst experiences. Often New Year's Eve is on the list of the worst, and the reason for this is the explosion of firecrackers. Those who are hypersensitive are irritated by even completely harmless sounds - for example, steps in the apartment from above. In addition, they are distinguished by very sensitive sleep.
From the outside, the hypersensitive seems to be very picky: in particular, they cannot stand cold and drafts, so they try to avoid open-air parties. And visiting a hairdresser sometimes turns into real torture due to the pungent chemical odors. They also have a hard time visiting smokers. Even if the owner tries not to smoke in front of the guest, the smell of tobacco, ingrained in the furniture and curtains, will certainly reach the sensitive nose. I was told about one poor guy who even quit his job because his colleagues were constantly listening to the radio and it was making it difficult for him to concentrate.
Hypersensitive individuals are rare guests in cafes where loud music is played or where there are too many people. It can be difficult for highly sensitive people to find a cafe that suits their taste - especially if they are tired, hungry and are not walking alone.
I'm so hard to please that I sometimes hate myself. Less fastidious people don’t even imagine how easy life is for them!
Suzanne, 23 years old
For us, highly sensitive people, many things are not easy for us. Our pain threshold is lower than others, and therefore hostility from the outside world hurts us much more.
Impressionability
Many hypersensitive people admit that they hate quarrels and swearing. They can hardly stand it when those around them quarrel or are simply in a bad mood. However, this feature also has its advantages: we are able to show sensitivity and respond to the feelings of others. For this reason, we often choose professions that allow us to help others, and we often succeed in this activity.
Highly sensitive people who work in healthcare report that they often feel exhausted at the end of the workday. Because of our impressionability, excessive sensitivity and inability to abstract ourselves, we allow other people's experiences to influence us and therefore, when we come home, we still think about work.
If your work involves people, I advise you to take care of yourself, because stress leads to the most disastrous consequences.
I am often asked whether it is possible to overcome excessive impressionability in yourself. Thanks to hypersensitivity, a person develops unique invisible antennas that allow them to capture the mood of others. From time to time I myself want to get rid of these antennas forever and thus cut off the endless stream of impressions. I want to go blind, deaf and insensitive. And although this is most likely impossible, any of us is quite capable of controlling our own perceptions.
If you feel that your friend or colleague is unhappy with you, you can draw one of two conclusions: “He is angry with me. What did I do wrong? or “He just doesn’t know how to solve his problems himself, and that’s why he’s upset.” By choosing the second way of reasoning, you will significantly reduce the degree of your own experiences. In Chapter 8, I explain the relationship between feelings and thoughts in more detail.
Under favorable circumstances, excessive sensitivity brings certain benefits. Thus, psychologist and neuropathologist Susan Hart noted the following pattern:
Infants who are more responsive to their environment are more likely to respond to stimuli. If at the same time the child is surrounded by love and raised in a calm environment, then he shows greater interest in life and the ability to empathize, knows how to rejoice and more easily achieves a state of harmony with the world around him.
Susan Hart, 2009
Highly sensitive people who grow up in a supportive environment learn from childhood to see a certain advantage in their characteristics. However, those who did not receive affection and love in childhood can also learn to support themselves and manage their lives in such a way as to turn hypersensitivity into an advantage.
Responsibility and integrity
An experiment involving highly sensitive four-year-olds showed that such children were less likely to lie, less likely to break rules, and less likely to behave selfishly, even when they believed no one was watching. In addition, they resolve moral dilemmas in a more socially responsible manner.
Many hypersensitive individuals sometimes take responsibility for the whole world. Often, from a very early age, we detect dissatisfaction from others and try with all our might to correct the situation.
Feeling that my mother was dissatisfied with something, I was ready to do anything to help her, and came up with different ways make her life easier. One day, for example, I decided that I would smile at everyone we met on the street - both acquaintances and strangers. I thought that in this case they would all decide that my mother was a real sorceress, because she managed to raise such a sweet child.
Hannah, 57 years old
Feeling disharmony, you immediately try to correct the situation and take control of the situation. For example, if someone is arguing at a party, you patiently listen to them, try to console them, or suggest different ways to solve their problem. As a result, you soon get tired and leave the party, and the former enemies forget about the quarrel and continue to have fun.
End of introductory fragment.
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Do you feel like your reaction to things is stronger than others? Do you worry about how other people feel? Do you prefer quiet rather than chaotic environments?
If the above applies to you, then you may be very sensitive. The personality trait—which was first researched by Elaine A. Aron, Ph.D., in the early 1990s—is relatively common, affecting one in five people. Aron has written many works and books on hypersensitivity, including such as “Very Sensitive People”, and also developed a test () that will help you determine whether you are a very sensitive person.
Although recent interest in introversion—driven largely by wide-ranging publications on the subject, including Susan Cain's book Silence—has brought more interest in personality traits than the meaning of less stimulation and more sensitivity, Aron noted that highly sensitive people are also are generally considered a "minority".
But "minority" doesn't mean it's bad - in fact, a highly sensitive person combines many positive characteristics. Below are some common traits that all sensitive people share.
1. Their feelings are deeper
One of the hallmarks of highly sensitive people is the ability to experience deeper feelings than their less sensitive peers. “They like to perceive things on a deep level,” Ted Zeff, Ph.D., author of “The Survival Guide for Highly Sensitive People” and other books about highly sensitive people, tells HuffPost. “They are very intuitive and can go a lot further to figure things out.”
2. They are more emotionally responsive.
Highly sensitive people react more strongly to situations. For example, they will be more sympathetic and caring about a friend's problems, Aron says. They may also care more about other people who have been the victim of negative actions.
3. They are used to hearing: “Don’t take everything so personally” or “Why are you so sensitive?”
Depending on the culture, sensitivity may be perceived as a valuable contribution or negative trait, Zeff explains. In some of his studies, Zeff says that highly sensitive men from different countries The men he worked with—such as Thailand and India—were rarely or never teased, while North American men were often or always teased. "So many of them are very cultured - the same person who said 'in certain cultures this is considered a valuable contribution.'
4. They are used to working alone
Highly sensitive people tend to avoid being on a sports team where there is a feeling that everyone is constantly being watched. actions of another, says Zeff. In his studies, the majority of highly sensitive people surveyed preferred individual sports - cycling, running, hiking - rather than group sports. However, this is not a universally accepted rule - some highly sensitive people had parents who instilled in them the understanding that it would be easier for them to become involved in group sports, Zeff reports.
5. They take longer to make decisions.
Highly sensitive people are more knowledgeable and detailed in their decision-making, says Aron. Even if it is not a “right” or “wrong” decision—for example, it is impossible to choose the “wrong” flavor of ice cream—highly sensitive people will tend to take longer to choose because they are weighing every possible outcome.” Aron advises: “Think as long as the situation allows, and ask for more time if you need it,” she writes in a recent issue of the Comfort Zone newsletter. “During this time, try to claim a minute, an hour, a day, or even a week that will help you get on the right path. How does it feel? Often, on the other side of the decision, things look different, and this gives you a chance to more vividly imagine that you are already there.” One exception: One day a very sensitive person will come to the conclusion that in this situation the right decision will be this, and in another situation this will be, and in the future he or she will quickly make these decisions.
6. They are more frustrated when they make “bad” or “wrong” decisions.
Can you imagine how you feel when you make a bad decision? For highly sensitive people, "these emotions are magnified because their emotional activity is higher," explains Aron.
7. They are extremely detail-oriented
Highly sensitive people are the first to notice details in a room, new shoes you put on, or changes in the weather.
8. Not all highly sensitive people are introverts.
About 30 percent of highly sensitive people are extroverts referring to Aron. He explains that many times highly sensitive people who were also extroverts grew up in a close-knit community—whether in a cul-de-sac, a small town, or with a parent who worked as a priest or rabbi—and so interacted with a lot of people.
9. They work well as a team
Because highly sensitive people are deep thinkers, they are valuable employees and team members., says Aron. However, they are well suited for those command positions where the final decision does not need to be made. For example, if a highly sensitive person is part of the medical team, he or she is valuable in analyzing the pros and cons of the patient undergoing surgery until someone else ultimately makes a decision about whether the patient needs surgery.
10. They are most prone to anxiety or depression (but only if they have had a lot of negative experiences in the past)
“If you have enough bad experiences, especially early life, you don't feel safe in this world or don't feel confident at home... or at school, your nervous system too “anxious,” says Aron. But needless to say, all highly sensitive people will continue to worry - having a supportive environment can go a long way towards protecting them from all this. Parents of highly sensitive children especially need to “understand that these are truly great children, but they need to be held the right way"says Aron. “You can overprotect them, but you can’t underprotect them. You have to titrate them when they are young so they feel confident and have a good time.”
11. An irritating sound irritates a very sensitive person even more.
It's hard to say that anyone is a fan of annoying sound, but highly sensitive people are even more sensitive to chaos and noise. That's why they tend to be more depressed due to overactivity, Aron says.
12. Violent movies are the worst.
Because highly sensitive people sympathize even more and get irritated even faster. Violent or horror films are not their thing, says Aron.
13. It’s easier to make them cry.
That's why it's important for highly sensitive people to put themselves in a situation where they don't feel upset or somehow "wrong" to cry easily, says Zeff. If their friends and family realize that it is simple—that they can easily be made to cry—and support this form of expression, then “easy crying” will not be seen as something shameful.
14. They have good manners
Very sensitive people are also very conscientious people, as Aron says. Therefore, they are likely to be attentive and have good manners - and always notice unscrupulous people. For example, a highly sensitive person may be more aware of where his cart is in the store—not because he's afraid someone might steal something from it, but because he doesn't want his cart to get in the way of someone else. .
15. For highly sensitive people, the consequences of criticism are greatly amplified.
Highly sensitive people have a reaction to criticism that is more intense the less sensitive the person is. As a result, they may use certain tactics to avoid criticism, including flattering (so that no one will criticize them), criticizing themselves first, and avoiding sources of criticism, Aron says.
People may say something negative [and] a non-HSP (highly sensitive person) may say, “Never mind,” and not respond, Zeff says. But the OCCH will feel it very deeply.
16. Offices = good. Open offices=bad
Since highly sensitive people prefer to work alone, they also prefer a solitary work environment. Zeff says many highly sensitive people enjoy working from home or being self-employed because they can control the stimuli of their work environment. While those who don't have the luxury of creating their own flexible work schedules (and environments), Zeff notes that highly sensitive people may enjoy working in a cubicle—where they have more privacy and less noise—than in open offices.